If you have a Thai girlfriend and are not very faithful then you should know that penis cutting is a specialty that makes Thailand also the world champion of penis transplants.
I've often heard this kind of story, the saddest of which was about a young novice monk who went to receive a particular type of offering from an older woman every morning.
Of course, this was not an offering authorised by the Theravada Buddhism and both were at fault.
Then the young man left the monastery, found a girlfriend of his own age and, somehow, in a meeting with his former lover, she cut off his parts.
Maybe also a Karma story...
I also remember an article in Courrier International, which told of a jealous Thai woman who cut off her husband's family jewellery and, to make sure it could not be sewn back on, tied it to a helium balloon and sent it up in the air.
At the time, I laughed a lot, I imagined the ball falling and people watching it:
"Oh a balloon, but what's hanging down there? Oh!"
Here is an AFP article from 2004 on the subject:
Thailand, world champion in penis transplants
They boiled them, tied them to balloons, fed them to ducks or flushed them down the toilet.
When it comes to depriving an unfaithful man of all his means, the imagination of Thai women is boundless.
While Thailand has become the world's leading country for penile repair surgeryThis is not by chance: cases of mutilation are frequent in the kingdom.
The latest was reported yesterday, on a 29-year-old farmer.
Doctors and psychologists explain this extreme violence by the widespread infidelity and the will of women who are not afraid to defend their rights.
The tradition of polygamy, officially banned only a hundred years ago, remains widespread and tears apart many marriages in Thailand.
Moreover, the penis is revered as a symbol of power and fertility, these experts point out.
Phalluses made of stone or wood can be found in every market in the kingdom or on the prows of ships.
It doesn't help that every self-respecting Thai cook is equipped with many knives, each one sharper than the next.
Sitting in his office at Paolo Memorial Hospital in Bangkok, surgeon Surasak Muangsombot recalls performing his first penis transplant in 1978 and quickly discovering that these gruesome mutilations were one form of domestic violence in Thailand.
Since 1978, Dr Surasak's team alone has operated on 33 men.
In the same period, "only" three cases were registered in Sweden.
Two in the United States, including the high-profile case of John Bobbitt, who, after regaining his full abilities through surgery, became a pornographic film actor - and one in Australia.
"Some years there are four or five (in Thailand) and then you don't hear about it," says Dr Surasak, "but sometimes it's like an epidemic.
The phallo-plasticians have their work cut out for them, because jealous women, once the penis has been cut off, often attack the unfortunate organ.
"Some boil it, feed it to ducks, flush it down the toilet, bury it or even tie it to a balloon and let it fly away," says the surgeon.
The most difficult case for him was that of the woman who refused for a long time to admit that she had sent her husband's manly member to a septic tank.
"I asked the nurse to clean him well and warned the patient that he might have sepsis," the doctor explains.
He replied: "Look, do your best, and if I get sepsis, at least I'll die with my penis".
"Fifteen hours passed from the time the penis was cut and grafted, which is much longer than anything in the books, but I did it, and to my amazement everything went well" explains the surgeon.
For Dr Wallop Piyamanotham, a psychologist, penis amputation is linked to the Thai habit of taking a second wife.
"The only possible revenge for the wife is to amputate the penis of her husband" who cheats and abandons her, he explains, because "few men (unfaithful) still have sex with their wives".
Despite the damage to the mutilated penis, says Dr Surasak, the success of the transplants is impressive.
"The success rate is 100 %s, but I believe only 50 %s can return to normal function," he says.
The surgeon gives a golden rule for men who cannot resist the temptation of infidelity:
"If you have a mistress, your wife will be mad and ready to mutilate you at any moment. So make her happy (be generous), but at the same time, in anticipation, always carry a thermos bottle and the address of a good surgeon.
I know many who should buy a thermos 😉
Photo: Banana : Duke language - palakit: Deror avi